He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i love accidental penises.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
