I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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