How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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