If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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