Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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