I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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