This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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