I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
