he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
