Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
