Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
