Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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