And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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