what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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