Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
