he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
