Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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