if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
