do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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