She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
