the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
