better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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