Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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