im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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