he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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