If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We just shotgunned beers for America
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
