you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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