I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
