If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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