just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
