I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
