The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Randomize
