Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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