Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
