i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
