are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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