I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
