If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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