is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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