I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
