His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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