There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
