Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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