I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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