I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
