HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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