So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
