just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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