I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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