if you like me you must not know who I am
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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