What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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