i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
