I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
