Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
