I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
