he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I think people are normalizing furries
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
