i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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